The thing at the end ........

This above all was my first "What the ? "   I think ....I   need to explain,   a lot of what I'm writing now is memories from now ,if that makes sense . I'm writing as something pops into my head  ,if i didn't write it there and then the thought s would be gone .  Nothing will really be in sequence   ,or then again it might !  are you beginning to see how this ole brain of mine works!    or     not   ! as the case may be .

See there I go ,going on.....nearly lost the thought   about the thing at the end   .

O f course its  my foot ,my little white foot! ..........................

I'm going up and down putting my hand up ,pulling pulling on air ,all my right side now has gone all airy  fairy waving and splitting ,  my god I  wanna wake up ,its pulling   too much ,wave, whisper ,wave ,whisper  ,rollling , whisper, whisper  ,whispe,r      WHISPER  ,I'm grabbing  my face twisting it down ,  ,it wont turn ,please please turn , ...now it' s heavy dragging me  down ,heavy so heavy ,I m opening my mouth trying to get air ...can't breathe ,come on ,please  let me go I   want to wake up ......

Could not move when    I  did for what seemed like ages...The Morning    thing ... I went to put my foot on the floor and I  felt nothing ,no feeling in it what so ever  ,I  tapped it ,I shook it ,I  asked what it was!!! ,it was really cold too ,but I  couldnt stand ,like trying one high shoe on ,and trying to walk   ,I think it only took a couple of minuites for it to get the feeling back ,and I think I had no more problems all that day ,but this happened most mornings after .untill the worst times when it became more random and not just after a night of floating .