It's been so long ,......and life well life has been ...

so very okay  ,isn't it weird for  me to say that !  well maybe not because this is after ,after the terrible events ,the events that made me mad  ,and not angry mad ... just mad , insanity if you like

either perceived or otherwise I felt like a mad woman , like a bag lady you see on the street with the toothless grin or the mad womens smile ,who you cross over to the other side of the street to get away from .....

there's some irony for you too ,as I never did, I never avoided them  ,ever! but I felt like someone so isolated from the so called norm ,a mad woman who lost her place ......in our so called ,real ,normal world.


oh to feel so normal now ...and I know I 'm jumping the gun  ,  is so ,so spectacular and that sounds so dramatic but its true ,  or , it is my expereince and it's wonderful ,  I feel ,well thats just it , I feel like me ... or nearly ,, I  take a look around me and I  just breathe , a breath like nothing else , I  stood in the sea with waves splashing  over my feet and I  laughed and put my hands up in the air and said YES!!  . and more treatment may be ahead of me ,  but I'm  breathing now and life is good .........