Drivng Miss Crazy .........

I forgot how to drive .  This as I remember it,    was the sit up and take note  .

If  I'd   just remembered to write the dam  note ...... it would have been quicker  to start the process of lump sitting there ,growing and growing  and it not letting me know     ,why oh why didn't it keep letting me know?   instead of waiting until I  got in the car ,  driving along and stopping ...you would think I' d go home once I remembered  again to use the  dam pedal  which just before was just something lying around ....to taunt me ......

You'd think that the safety of my son and others would make  me go home and ring  someone '........

but I'd walk in the door and put dinner on .......no thought ,or reminder or memory or sign ,I just put the dam dinner on  . ......talk about ,'  lights out there ain't nobody home ..'

.It was my son , my little man who has  seen such a lot . with his mother going somewhere  ,some days too far ,that he'd  look at me in puzzlement  and ask .'.you okay mum? ...'......

It was our date night ,a night at the  moveis to see CARS he was bubbling with excitement , as I was too ,

We drove into the car park and drove to the top , and then the car
stopped , I looked at him  and

he looked at    me ,he said   ' member mum ,put it in park we will wait  for you  do the pedal ,  see we are stopped ,'  ..I looked at him in wonder, I so  remember that   ,  and did as he said ......my foot was ready and I started again ..we drove to the  park and we breathed ... . it was only a few seconds as it always seemed, but with my boy saying what he said to me ,  I  knew ,I  just knew ,I would keep this memory

We had a  great night with nothing more ,chatted about the movie and got to the door ,I walked on inside and got out my book to write me the note ...to remember . 

one more drive to the doctor with no  more stops after  i had 2 days of school ,shopping and errands with mum ,   knowing  it would all soon come clear . I was told to stop driving directly after a neurological test   and drove to mums ,told her what happend and she drove me on home .

This was the start of the of the lump being found and soon no more floating , I would come to the ground .

*Dedicated to Tiare * I love you.

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